Anthony vs. The Mean Reds

I think I've got a case of The Mean Reds (thank you manzano), a la Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I've got this ripe, nagging feeling weighing on my head, on my shoulders, on my heart, and it's a true drag. I don't know where it got in, why it's there, or furthermore what's feeding it. But it is. And really, I'm not in the mood.

I'm not unhappy. Not at all. In fact, things are going well, mostly. Happy, (more or less) healthy, quickly climbing out of debt, not on drugs, not in jail, not jobless, not floundering, finally found a bit of meaning in my life, grabbing hold of a direction for myself (finally), thoughts flowing, ideas bouncing, friends (mostly) flourishing, family well, actually coasting through work (ie, not wanting to kill anyone), sleeping mostly well, gaming, televisioning, rocking out, reading more, eating better, walking around more often (mmmmm...excercise), and pretty much doing alright in most every department, save for sex...

Well, we'll not linger on that subject. Sex. I'm rather...touchy about it...*grumble*camel*grumble...

*ahem*

But I'm feeling good, feeling attractive (for a change), somewhat charming, got my flirt on. I'm okay.

I dunno what it is. To quote zee pop czar John Mayer "Something's missing, but I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is."

Perhaps it is The Mean Reds.

I was thinking today, I'm in a weird state of transition again. In what way, I'm not sure. Perhaps it's the end of my "silly youth." I realized this weekend that I just wanted to be mellow and chill. Maybe that's due to being on the go constantly. Or maybe it's because I've outgrown my party. I really hope it's not that I've outgrown my party. I do have a lot more to do yet. But then again, I fear it's because I'm shifting gears in life. A little older, a little wiser, a little more focused. A little bit more forward thinking.

Ah, bullshit. I think there's a bit of ennui creeping in. Good old fashioned ennui.

Mean Reds.

Who needs it? Who wants to think about it? I've got happier things to think on.